I used to frequent an online bulletin board which was purported to be a place where faith is shared. One day, an online friend of mine posted a wonderful new thread. It was a heartwarming story, a true one, one of those that makes you feel kinda cuddly inside. You know the kind I mean, right? Where you say, "Aw, shucks" or "How nice" or something like that. In fact, that was basically the thrust of the first response to this thread.
All of the sudden, someone had managed to derail the nice topic and make it contentious. And one person after another responded in a somewhat-more-heated fashion until... WHAMMO...
At least 2 people said they were leaving the discussion board because of just this sort of behavior.
I used to visit another online forum with the same sort of purpose - faith sharing. And the same thing used to happen there. People of faith (?) quibbling over every point of doctrine, every interpretation of Scripture, every opinion. In truth, I'm not sure I saw one single post on either of these boards that didn't sink into sniping of some degree or another.
What's going ON here, people?
I've read through the Bible a time or two and have spent the better part nearly 60 years attending church regularly. I am no contemplative, but I talk with God regularly. He has graced me with insights far more often than I deserve. I've learned a couple of things through the years, and freely acknowledge that I have far, far more to learn. But it seems to me that there is no divine directive to challenge everything other people say.
This contentiousness is by no means limited to people of faith. In the world of political opinion, it is far worse. Whether the discussion centers on Obama or Bush, socialism or democracy, there is a tendency to demonize the other person's point of view and, for that matter, to make saints of those whose views parallel our own.
Again... What's going ON here, people?
The truth of the matter is, there's a little bit of saint and a whole lot of sinner in each of us. Each of us brings different life experiences to the table, and these have helped to shape somewhat different viewpoints. Not everything "different" is wrong. Not everything "same" is right.
Does this mean that "anything goes"? Of course not. There will be times when it would be wrong to go along with the crowd. But there are other times when a different opinion is simply that. A different opinion.
It is possible to disagree without disrespect.
The way we treat other people is a reflection of who we are. Hopefully, at least on occasion, we can be magnanimous enough to grant someone the right to think differently than we do or, assuming a correction is necessary, we can offer it gently. Every major faith has something on the order of "the Golden Rule". It seems to me that, if nothing else, we should all be able to agree that this is a fine way to treat each other.
Disagreeing with respect--it's part of our calling of unity. Great encouragement here to work to maintain that. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI wish I ad written ths post you are absolutely right! Part of the problem for people of Faith is that we care deeply so opinions can be extremely personal things. And disagreement sometimes feels like a personal attack. I think that's why we end up in these disagreements. Gotta constantly take the time to reevaluate our motives. Thanks for the great post.
ReplyDeleteNever imagine that the phenomenon is limited to chat forums, Sue. Our very wonderful last pastor was reassigned to another Catholic church in the area where he only lasted three months. There was (and HAD been, historically) such a strong "More Orthodox Than Thou" attitude pervading that parish that our fine priest had to ask the bishop for a transfer, saying "I'm not Catholic enough for these people." And the transfer was accomplished, and in his new place Fr. X is once more highly valued.
ReplyDeleteYou are very right, if we can't learn to get along with each other, how can we venture out into the world?
ReplyDeleteWe should always let our words be full of grace--seasoned with salt, yes, but full of grace. Good thoughts, well said.
ReplyDeleteJesus was the master at "disagreeing with respect."
ReplyDeleteI like what you said: "it seems to me that there is no divine directive to challenge everything other people say." I totally agree. I do know some argumentative people who need to hear this, LOL. I also like your statement, disagree with respect. It certainly is possible and I think it is Christlike behavior!
ReplyDeleteYes I agree: it is possible to disagree, respectfully. Any time I am not seeing eye to eye on a theological point, I remember this: "A cross on Calvary and an empty tomb trumps everything."
ReplyDeleteGlad you linked again. I appreciate reading your thoughts.