Am I totally blind?

I want to share something that happened the other day. It may sound like I'm trying to be funny, but I assure you, it happened just as I'm relating it. And actually, when I think about it, it really is a bit funny...

The other night, I woke up, and it was pitch black. I mean 100% darkness: not a glimmer of light anywhere. That was peculiar; we had the blinds part-way open, and usually can see at least a glimmer there, but nothing. Total darkness. I craned my head over top of my sleeping husband to look at the digital display on the bedside clock which sits on his nightstand, and again saw complete and utter blackness. I waved my hand back and forth directly in front of my face, and I saw absolutely nothing at all. Totally dark. No sign of the faint glimmer from the nightlight, either. It was nothing but darkness as far as my eye could (not) see.

I repeated the same series of experiments at least once: looking towards the blinds, the clock, my waving hand, and the nightlight... with the same results. I thought to myself, "Am I totally blind?" (Yes, I really thought that.) And, being a nurse for many years, I tried to approach it from a rational point of view, using my nursing background. I said to myself, "I can't think of anything that would cause sudden, total blindness without also causing other neurological deficits." I then demonstrated to myself that there was no major deficit by moving all four extremities, sticking out my tongue, swallowing, turning my neck side to side, shrugging, etc.

I gingerly got out of bed, felt my way through the rest of our darkened house, and concluded (rightly) that there was a power outage.

Why am I telling this silly story? Actually, I'm telling it because I realized something interesting.

A few years ago, I would have been panicky thinking that I might be blind. I would have woken my long-suffering husband for reassurance. I would have leapt out of bed (and likely hurt myself in the process) to get to a flashlight in the event I couldn't wake aforesaid husband up. This time, I chose a totally different approach... the sort of approach I notice myself taking more and more often lately.

I'm gradually learning not to panic in instances where panicking will not help. And I honestly believe that I've been able to do this because, over time, I've learned to trust God.

Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

“Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. 

- Luke 12: 22-29