Dieting Under Stress... (A smile for your Saturday)

This diet is designed to help you cope with the stresses that build up during the day.

Breakfast
Half a grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast, dry
8 oz. skim milk

Lunch
4 oz. lean broiled chicken
1 C. steamed spinach
1 C. herbal tea
1 Oreo cookie

Mid-Afternoon Snack
Rest of Oreos in package
2 pts. Rocky Road ice cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce
Nuts, cherries, whipped cream

Dinner
2 loaves garlic bread
1 large deluxe pizza
4 cans of beer
3 Milky Way bars


Late Evening Snack
Entire frozen cheesecake, taken directly from freezer.
Rest of Rocky Road ice cream



RULES FOR THIS DIET:

• If you eat something and no one sees you, it has no calories.
• If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
• When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do.
• Food used for medicinal purposes never counts, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast, and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
• If you fatten up everyone else around you, you will look thinner.
• Movie-related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the entire entertainment package. Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, and Tootsie Rolls are all in this category.
• Things licked off knives, forks, and spoons have no calories. Examples are ice cream, cake icings, cheesecake, and anything chocolate.
• Brown-colored foods are fat-, calorie-, and cholesterol-free. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.
• Late-night snacks have no calories. The refrigerator light is not strong enough for the calories to see their way into the calorie counter.
• If you are in the process of preparing something, food licked off knives and spoons have no calories. e.g. peanut butter on a knife, ice cream on a spoon.