Cold is a relative term

This week’s theme:

No More Grouchy Old Farts!!

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Use the handy chart below to determine just how cold it really is.

65˚ F         Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night
60˚ F         Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)
50˚ F         Miami residents turn on the heat
45˚ F         Vermont residents go to outdoor concerts
40˚ F         You can see your breath; Californians shiver uncontrollably; Minnesotans go swimming
35˚ F         Italian cars don't start
32˚ F         Water freezes
30˚ F         You plan your vacation to Australia
25˚ F         Ohio water freezes; Californians weep pitiably; Minnesotans eat ice cream; Canadians go swimming.
20˚ F         Politicians begin to talk about the homeless; New York City water freezes; Miami residents plan vacation further South.
15˚ F         French cars don't start; Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.
10˚ F         You need jumper cables to get the car going.
5˚ F          American cars don't start.
0˚ F          Alaskans put on T-shirts.
-10˚ F       German cars don't start; Eyes freeze shut when you blink.
-15˚ F       You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo; Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects; Miami residents cease to exist.
-20˚ F        Cat insists on sleeping in pajamas with you; politicians actually do something about homeless; Minnesotans shovel snow off roof; Japanese cars don't start.
-25˚ F        Too cold to think; You need jumper cables to get the driver going
-30˚ F        You plan a two week hot bath; Swedish cars don't start.
-40˚ F        Californians disappear; Minnesotans button top button; Canadians put on sweaters; Your car helps you plan your trip South.
-50˚ F        Congressional hot air freezes; Alaskans close the bathroom window.
-80˚ F        Hell freezes over; Polar bears move south; Viking Fans order hot cocoa at the game.
-90˚ F        Lawyers put their hands in their own pockets.