This week’s theme:
______________________
On a pair of bicycle shin guards:
SHIN PADS CANNOT PROTECT ANY PART OF THE BODY THEY DO NOT COVER
On a label on a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan :
RECYCLED FLUSH WATER UNSAFE FOR DRINKING
(EEEOOOWWW.)
The label on an electric wood router cautions:
THIS PRODUCT NOT INTENDED FOR USE AS A DENTAL DRILL
On a blanket from Taiwan -
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO
On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists -
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU
On a Taiwanese shampoo -
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE
On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavored milk drink -
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT
In a US guide to setting up a new computer -
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING
(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles-
OPEN OTHER END
On a Sears hairdryer -
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING
On a bag of Fritos -
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE
On a bar of Dial soap -
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) -
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING
On a Korean kitchen knife -
WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights -
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY
On a Japanese food processor -
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE
On Sainsbury's peanuts -
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS
On a Swedish chainsaw -
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS
On a child's superman costume -
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY
On some frozen dinners -
SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box -
FITS ONE HEAD
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -
DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY
(Excellent advice.)
These were great, I read them to my husband and he roared. My favorite is the peanuts that contain nuts.
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