A righteous way to deal with anger?

I don't know about you, but some things just make me mad. Things like child abuse, for example. Or for that matter, cruelty to any being who's not able to defend themselves. I can't stand outright bigotry, either, or dirty politics.

But there are different sorts of anger, and vastly different results can occur in response to anger. It's extremely easy to affix a label of "righteous anger" on an explosive emotion that arises from wounded vanity or thwarted desires. And having the insight and the honesty to acknowledge it when this happens isn't easy for most of us.

Perhaps it's because it's so easy to delude ourselves about the true reason for our anger, and so easy to allow anger to propel us into other sins, the author of Ephesians offers some strong advice to get rid of all anger... whether "righteous" or not:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Ephesians 4:29-32

Learning to control anger can seem an impossible task. St. Francis de Sales offers this advice in his Introduction to the Devout Life:

It is better to learn to live without anger than to try to make a wise and moderate use of anger. When we find ourselves surprised by it due to our imperfection or weakness, it is better to repel it promptly than to bargain with it. Even in the little delay offered to it, it makes itself mistress of the place...

But you will ask: how can I repel it?

...when we see ourselves agitated by anger, we must implore the help of God, following the example of the Apostles tossed about by the wind and the storm in the midst of the waters (Mt. 8:24-26). For he will command our passions to be still and there will be a great calm. But I wish to make you aware that the prayer which is made against a present, pressing anger ought to be gentle, tranquil and not violent...

Moreover, as soon as you perceive that you have acted with anger, make reparation for the fault by a prompt act of gentleness towards the same person against whom you were irritated. For just as the best remedy against lying is to disown it as soon as we become aware of it, in like manner, it is a good remedy against anger to correct it instantly through a contrary act of gentleness; as they say, fresh wounds are easily healed.

Prayer and reparation. Is it worth a try? Have you found other ways of dealing with anger?

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