May 31, 2009

One man's experience of the Holy Spirit at work


As for the exact date of my conversion, I can’t put my finger on it. It happened progressively, as I moved from atheism to a very marked, sincere faith, but when I look back I can no longer discern the landmarks along the way. I had been completely indifferent, but one day I realized that I had new eyes, and a view of reality which I had never anticipated was given to me. Before that, the true God was an indifferent tradition as far as I was concerned. Now, He is all that matters. He is at the center of the world, He rises above my being, He invades me totally, and my spirit cannot escape from Him. A powerful hand has seized me. Where is it? What has it done to me? I do not know, for His action is not like the action of men, it is unknowable and effective. It constrains me, and I am free. It transforms my being, yet I do not cease to be what I am.

Then comes the struggle – silent, tragic – between what I was and what I have become. For the new creature who has been planted within me calls for a response which I am free to refuse. I have received the principle; I must go on to the consequences. My viewpoint has changed, but my habits of thought and action have not. God has left them as they were. I have to fight, adapt, reconstruct my inner being, and I cannot be at peace unless I accept to fight. I am amazed and surprised at the change which grace has effected in me.

These words come from a letter written by Jacques Fesch from prison. He was subsequently guillotined. See this post for another sample of his writing.

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2 comments:

  1. "Nothing quite concentrates the mind like the sound of a shotgun being racked." Or the guillotine blade dropping.

    God uses everything -- whatever is at hand -- to reach us, for He desires not the death of a sinner, but his conversion.

    Dave

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